The Vow

N Los Angeles Ave
Los Angeles

The immigration officer said she made a vow to give her child a name which means Gift from God but, changed her mind. Her conscience bothered her so much she changed back the name. I said, "I made a pact like that with my Grandpa, I’m afraid something like that will happen to me." She gave me a look as if I was trying to put up my story against her story and that mine doesn’t even come close to hers. Finally she said, “I don’t know about your Grandpa but he doesn’t have powers like God….”
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Poison

Lombardi Ranch

Santa Clarita

We stopped by a shady tree with grape-like fruits. “It’s an olive tree where the olive oil comes from.” says Victor. “You can eat the ripe ones.” He said as a matter of fact. “Ah but these are greens....” I spied one purple globule plucked it and bit then spit! (This whole process took me only a second because of a biting bitterness in the mouth) “Sir that’s poisonous!” The farmer charged in my direction. I turned to Victor “I can’t believe you were trying to poison me man!” Stunned and guilt-stricken, Victor flushed red like an overripe tomato….
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Diamonds Are Forever

Two Strikes

Los Angeles

“I thought I saw you yesterday at Two Strikes.” “Yes I was there.” “So it was you picking up pinecones?” “No. Those were pods. I was going to pound the carob seeds inside as chocolate substitute.” “Did you say carob?” “Yes?” “I want to see that.” “Why?” “Because a diamond’s carat originates from the carob? “Really?” “Really. Because of its weight consistency, the carob seed was standard measurement of weight for gemstones since the middle ages.” Catherine said, “I didn’t know that.” With a wink I said, “Now you do….”

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Shots

St. James

Los Angeles

I brought the peanut-allergy shots to the secretary who looked at it as if it came from outer space. “The nurse will know how to use it.” I said. She replied, “We don’t have a nurse?” Then let out a sigh feeling the weight of the world on her back. “You will figure it out.” I assured her. “You are the greatest all around genius I know.” She looked at me for a second then laughed so hard the room rattled. As I head for the door I said, “I’m counting on you....” Then crossed my fingers hoping she would.
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Remus and Romulus

Los Angeles

California

Remus (6yo) was teaching his brother Romulus (4yo) street smarts while burying and digging miniature pirates and indians in a sandbox. “After drinking, why do chickens look up to the sky?” Remus asked. Romulus answered, “Because they ask god why they can’t pee!“ “Very well.” said Remus. “And why do piglets keep their heads low as they follow their mother?” Romulus answered in the deepest booming voice he can muster while gathering all his might to kick the one-eyed pirate -“Because they are ashamed their mother is a pig!”
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Comforting

St. James

Los Angeles

The hushed atmosphere magnified the hustling of feet towards polished pews and the smell of incense and the soft, lilting sound of a children’s choir soothe the senses. The House of God. It comforts me.

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Sniff Sniff

Home Depot

La Crescenta

I was buying a broken sprinkler for the lawn and was already in line to pay for it when the clerk behind the counter said, “Brandon (customer assistant) please go to the plants section. There is a dead rat for you.” It sounded really funny but the clerk wasn’t joking nor was Brandon taking it in jest. “How can I find it?” He asked annoyed. She replied, “Use your nose.”

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The Terminator

Santa Monica Blvd
Los Angeles

I was cruising along Santa Monica Boulevard when the light turned red. I stopped. Beside me on the next lane was a familiar face. He was driving an inconspicuous black Toyota sedan. With the thick forehead and square jaws, his features were unmistakable despite the dark glasses. It was Arnold Schwarzenegger. He has that same countenance when he uttered the immortal "I’ll be back!" He felt my stare. But before he could turn, the light turned green. "I’ll catch you again Terminator!" I said to myself with a grin....

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Mixed Up

At Home

Los Angeles

My four-year old asks non-stop questions, mostly ridiculous. Then she said: “Dad why do skins of carabaos tight while those of cows loose?” This is actually a local legend back home. I answered, “Because the ones carabaos wear are for cows and those worn by cows belong to the carabaos.” Here’s the story: Once upon a time, their skins were removable. One day, instead of working in the field they swam by the river when the master suddenly arrived! In their haste, their skins were mixed up! As punishment, the master made their skins permanent…. “Really?” “Really....”

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Leaving

Los Angeles

I was intrigued by the Jews, except for Bible stories, not much is known about them in my country. Then I got curious about Armenia. “Armenians and Israelis have things in parallel.” Abimelik said. Armenia is the first country to make Christianity a state religion while Israel is the only Jewish state, both countries being surrounded by the Muslim and the Arab world. There has been Diasporas in both communities, one returning to an expanding homeland, the other scattering, leaving behind a shrinking territory. “Like wood eaten away by termites, my Armenia is getting smaller by the day.” Abimelik sighed….

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